I do not have a driving desire to evangelize the lost. There! I said it! The statement stands stark in all its perceived ugliness. I have felt guilty about this all my life! I have asked God what is wrong with me more times than I care to count! Now I must also qualify this statement a little, I do want to represent Jesus wherever I go and in whatever circumstance I am in. I do feel God’s love for the people who don’t know Him and if anyone were to ask what makes me different I would gladly tell them all about the Father’s love and His Son’s sacrifice for us. But…..it is not a driving force in my life. My heart beats for those who know God and love Jesus but are broken and beaten up by the enemy; the ones who feel alone and floundering in a world that seems to be all consuming. Those of His children who have lost the ability to feel His constant Presence and hear His voice of love, who are being lulled by the enemy’s deceptively sweet voice. I want to be His arms and hold them, shake them, and then hold them again. I want to be His voice loud enough to drown out the sound of the world and the whiny voice of the flesh. I want to be the light that shines into their darkness and shows them the way back to His truth. I want to admonish and convince hurt frustrated wives that God will fight for them, that He will take care of them, and that trusting Him and allowing Him to be in control really does work! I want to encourage and strengthen broken defeated women with words of value and honor that comes straight from their Father King, to let them know that they are priceless to Him; they are jewels in His crown! I want to be the voice of Truth that declares to His children that He is faithful, He is still active and that His ways are the only way of hope. I want to call out to them and guide them back to the safety of His path, following His way! Jesus told his twelve in Matt 10:5-6 not to go to the Samaritans or the Gentiles but that He was sending them to the lost sheep of Israel. He told them this because He had someone else (Paul) in mind for the Gentiles. He has a plan for everyone and those plans are not the same for everyone. This verse brought me such joy and freedom, it removed my guilt! God has a plan for me and although I already knew that, it has been given a little more definition, a little more refinement and I have been given a clearer revelation of what my purpose is!