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10/28/09

Evidence of God's work in the life of my children

My youngest daughter and her 'mate' of five years finally tied the knot last month. It has been quite a jouney for me, wrestling with my beliefs, what the Bible teaches about co-habitation and my love for my daughter. I totally believed that God viewed the situation as sin and that it hindered her chances of being taken when Christ returned. I also believe that God could not fully bless them and move in their lives to His fullest extent while they continued to live together. I continued to pray for them both and for their children. They had no income, no transportation and no place to call their own.

I know that God would begin to provide these things once they brought themselves into allignment with what He designed a relationship to be. Sure enough, the week of the wedding my son in law found a job and a few weeks afterwards someone provided them with a vehicle! It needs some work and the job is seasonal, but God is faithful and will continue to provide for them. I still pray for them and especially for my sil that he will begin to recognize that God will take care of them, that he would begin to truly trust God's provision. Next on the list is a place they can call home. I know that God will provide exactly what they need for exactly what they can afford. He has done it for me!

My other daughter and sil had a 'misunderstanding' over some work he did for the landlord and found themselves with an eviction threat. On the deadline day exactly what they needed to cover the rent arrived in the mail!! There was even enough left over to put gas in their vehicle (they had run out of gas that morning and we put $10 in their tank)!! My daughter called me so excited, she even declared God's praise on her fb status. It is good to see God caring for my children when they are at an age that I should not have to be. I worry about them as they continue to mature and learn to make their own decisions, good and bad! My God is faithful to me as well as to my children and my children's children! He is wise and just, full of mercy and grace. AMEN

A Second Dream

This bizarre disturbing dream happened yesterday. Since I still remember it pretty vividly I will post it as well. "My entire family is somewhere I guess on vacation. There is a volcano on the edge of the city. We can see it from where we are. It begins to spit something that looks like snow into the air, next comes black something, ash or little rocks, I don't know. Everyone begins to run. A huge building next to us, it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa (sp) tumbles over and creates a tidal wave. The wave begins to push us rapidly down a river or a canal of some kind. It feels like we are in a vehicle of some kind and I'm looking out the windshield trying to avoid getting the glass broken. It is total chaos around me. Somehow I find myself standing on the side or bank of this water rushing by me. I turn around to see where I came from and I see my daughter and son in law standing in the water, they have rescued their three children. I then see three of my other grandchildren bob up in the water, they are safe. We have lost one of them, I am inconsolable, grieving hysterically it seems like for a period of time. Then we see a poster with his picture as found, he had washed up somewhere and was rescued. We are preparing to go get him when I wake up."
My husband says that he is amazed by the detail in which I dream and how much I remember. I have been asking God about this one too. I am open to any ideas.

A Dream

I have had a couple of odd dreams that stay on my mind which usually means that I need to write them down. Tonight's dream involved my church and pastor. "There was a meeting being held, an all church meeting; up on the stage are several chairs set up panel style and several area vineyard pastors (I knew none of them) including our pastor sat in them. The question posed to the congregation was in a nutshell 'why do you think the church has stopped growing? are you unhappy with your pastor's performance?' The meeting did not last long, no one had any comments. After the pastors had left, there was much murmuring and complaining. No one was willing to be honest about how they felt in front of our pastor. The pastor's wife at one point (remember this is a dream and the timeline was very disjointed) got on stage and scolded the people for not supporting and standing by the pastor; she mentioned a particular time that he had worn himself out for the church. We saw him standing on stage next to her (like a memory), he was bent completely over with his arms hanging to the floor and his head down like a rag doll. Someone mentioned it was time for him to retire, there was concern for his health. There was a suggestion to contact the area pastor privately to let him know that no one would speak out against the pastor publicly. I woke up."
Now I did eat pizza last night and I have been concerned about our church and our pastor's health, so this dream may mean nothing but that I am overly concerned about it all. Now I am pondering and asking my God is it is a warning of some sort and should I relate this dream to my pastor. Time and prayer will tell.

10/3/09

To whom it may concern;
I am hurt and offended by our 'conversation' last week. Your reaction was severe and out of place. I am crushed that you do not know me well enough to know that my decision was well researched and thought out. I put no one outside of family at risk and I am not responsible for other's fearful reactions brought about by the grapevine and a lack of knowledge. Those fears will be proved unfounded. I am by nature constantly putting others' welfare above my own, I thought you knew that about me. I am wrong. I believe that I am owed an apology although I do not expect to recieve one. I will continue to honor you as someone that God has annointed and will never intentionally speak negatively about you. I will not be someone who wishes to cast stones, I know my own faults too well. The experience has marred the friendship that I thought we had, although one of my faults is to see friendship in a deeper way that my friends do. I was hoping that I could put this behind me easily, but I find myself too frequently reliving the encounter in my mind and so I must put it down on 'paper' in order to set my mind free. I am hurt but I will heal and I forgive you. I remain your loyal servant.

8/20/09

Lack of Vision

The Bible says that a people will perish for lack of vision; I see this happening in my local body of believers. Our attendance is down, visitors come but don't stay and there is just a general sense of apathy all around. We have a great teacher; his messages are annointed and inspiring but he freely admits that his strengths do not lie in the area of shepherding and this is what I believe people need. It's good to be inspired by a Sunday morning message but unless you have someone to come along side of you during the rest of the week and check your progress, the best you can hope for is increased knowledge on how you should be progressing. A great teacher presents the vision for a particular group of people but they need a shepherd to help them grasp that vision and run with it. A great teacher can give you knowledge but a shepherd shows you how to walk in it. A great teacher can inspire you to become a better person but a shepherd shows you what that looks like. We have tried to encourage people to join small groups but only a few of those groups remain. They are the ones whose leaders have great shepherding ability. Right or wrong I find myself feeling very responsible for shepherding our people; it is exhausting. I fear the health of our small congregation as it struggles along without a shepherd and without a vision. A people will perish without a vision and I am seeing that played out week by week. Father God, have mercy on us. Give us a vision, how do You want to use us? Show me how I can best support our leader and encourage our people to walk justly, to love mercy and to pray without ceasing.

8/16/09

He will return

We who follow the teachings of Christ Jesus have been waiting for His return for a very long time. So long in fact that I think many of His followers have gotten tired of waiting. The distractions of the enemy camp have lulled them into apathy and weariness. When the One you love is gone for so long it becomes very difficult to remain faithful to the love that you shared. The memories of the times you spent together begin to fade and become difficult to remember. The warmth of His touch begins to cool and one must search the depths of memory to feel it again. The secret is realizing that He is also spirit and can return to you whenever you ask Him to do so. You can spend time with Him, feel His presence and His touch. You can read His Word and hear His voice.
I feel His sorrow when His beloved choose the easy road of forgetting. It weighs heavy on my heart and makes breathing difficult sometimes. If His beloved only realized how valuable they are, what price He paid so that they could be with Him and experience all the love and gifts that He has for them. There is such a great inheritance of riches for those who faithfully follow the teachings of Christ. We follow a mighty King who is wise and just and merciful, who is holy and fierce and powerful. Great is His name!

8/10/09

Early AM sleeplessness

What is it about 2am that causes one to wake up? Hot flashes, bad dreams, the soft and not so soft snorings of a beloved husband, something you ate the day before, God calling you to spend some time with Him, any and all of the above! This morning it was waking up too hot for the blankets, I'm tired and yet cannot return to sleep. My love, who never used to be very snuggly want to sleep right next to me with his arm over my side. He's very warm and although I love the closeness of him my skin objects to the heat of his presence. I carefully slip out of bed and go to the living room where I lay for awhile on the sofa. It's cooler here, but our two cats decide that I need company and even though I doze for awhile it is still not a very restful place. I notice that the blinds have been closed by my duaghter who came to the apartment while we were out of town. I adjust them to their normal tilt and fill one of my pitchers with water for my tomato plant on the fire escape. It's very still and muggy outside, I return to the coolness of the apartment and our bedroom. I put my pillows at the foot of the bed so that I can look out the windows at the one star that is within my sight. It looks like a pin prick in the dark fabric of the night and I wonder if that is what all stars are. Pin pricks allowing the glory of heaven to peak at us. I like that idea. I have now been awake for over an hour and I begin to think the time would be best spent in prayer. When I have a chance to spend time with my Father King in His throne room at night I have found that if I record my time with Him I can more easily fall back to sleep and so I am sharing that moment with you my reader friends:
My Father, My King, I present myself to you and bring to you the requests of my heart this morning. I love you so much, You have been merciful to me and have given me more than my heart could imagine. Be with my children, how I long for them to know the joy of Your presence like I do. I want them to trust in Your faithfulness, in Your wisdom and Your kindness. You have been my strength and my joy through so many situations. You are my life and the air that I breathe. Please protect and heal my daughter of the anger that so often surrounds her. Restore her faith and soften her heart. Show her the sweet fragrance that can come from a bitter situation; strengthen the cords that keep her bound to You and Your Spirit. I will stand against the anger, the resentment and the bitterness in her life, I say to you the enemies of her heart Let go! Be gone from her in the name of Jesus! You will loosen your grip and you will lose this battle! I declare it in the name of the King, Jesus Christ! I release the Holy Spirit to heal and restore any damage done by the enemy to her heart, to her marriage, to her family. I give you glory and praise my King, because of you there is hope; because of You there is strength in them, because of You there is restoration. Continue to protect my son in law from the enemy's fiery darts, clothe him in Your glorious armour, increase his wisdom, mold him into a warrior and show him how to fight for his family. Help him to become the son of Your right arm.
I lay before you my other child, Your reborn princess. Show her the beauty that she is in You. Heal her of the chaos that runs through her mind. Bless her with Your peace. Teach her to be still and know that You are God. I place before You the concerns I have for her relationship; I give it to You and trust You to form it into a relationship that glorifies Your name. I claim her beloved for Your Kingdom and trust You to heal him, break him, change him into one of Your noble warriors. You are the almighty King, You are the Creator of all things, the earth is Your footstool and Your creation delights in Your presence. You are the beginning and the end; You hold time in Your hands and determine the outcome of all situations. I am in awe of Your majesty and Your power. You are the One that I trust above all others.
I bring before You, my King, my beautiful grandchildren, these most precious gifts of love that you have given me. May they become an army for You; give me the wisdom and the opportunity to teach them Your ways my Lord. May they welcome Your presence and bask in the glow of being with You. Fill them with Your love, Your power, Your joy. Protect them from our mortal enemy Lord while they are young and learning of You. Guard their hearts, place your seal upon them, set them apart for Your pleasure. These are the gifts that I ask You to give them; may the first be blessed with great compassion for others, the second a voice and a heart that longs to worship You, the third a boldness to walk in Your ways before others, the fourth an encouraging word for those in need of comfort, the fifth a great love for Your word and a thirst for Your knowledge, the sixth wisdom beyond his years and the seventh a discerning heart. Let them all learn to walk in the boldness of Your love and power. Make them fearless for You Lord. To You my King be the glory, honor and power for ever Amen. August 2012 To the eighth I ask that You give beauty of soul and a peaceful spirit.

7/25/09

Divine Appointments or Picking Up Strays

I have a reputation within my family of 'picking up stray's; people who look like they need a ride or a friend or someone to talk to. I don't do this as often as my family seem to think but occasionally God has directed me to give someone a ride somewhere. I have also heard these refered to as divine appointments. A divine appointment is when you 'bump' into a stranger and by the time you have reached the end of this meeting you know that God had intended it to happen all along. My first experience with this type of thing was when I was in High School and my boyfriend (now my hubby) and I picked up a hitchhiker and took him home to my parents. My mother fed him put him up for the night and my dad took him to the highway the next morning. I know I know it's a dangerous world we live in, but hey when the God of the Universe looks after you it makes you a little bit fearless! Anyway he said something to my mother that morning that caused her to believe that he was an angel who was with us during a major crisis the next month. I have no reason to doubt her. Anyway this began a career of asking God if I am supposed to reach out to people when I see them on the street. Usually if I have to ask Him that question He tells me no; but if He wants me to do something He begins to put thoughts in my head. For instance this morning I was headed to a women's fellowship hosted by my church with my daughter when we saw this young woman walking down the street, she kept looking back at the traffic behind her and she looked like she had had a rough night. Her appearance made me wonder about her evening 'activities', then I heard 'the voice' causing me to wonder where she was going, was she going to have breakfast, did she need anything, maybe I should stop and invite her to our fellowship so she would have something to eat. Now I admit I argued with Him because I needed to get to the church for this fellowship, but then I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach and I muttered under my breath "Oh alright!" My daughter turns to me and says "We're turning around aren't we?" "Yes" I said. So we turned around, found her and invited her to come with us. She declined, but said that she was headed home and could use a ride. She talked alot as we rode to the church so that I could let in any ladies waiting for me. I grabbed a bulletin and a business card for a friend who does addiction counseling and began to take her home. It turned out that she was living in some apartments owned by friend who also attends my church, now what are the odds of that!! God is so good and obviously has plans for this girl. I left my number with her in case she wanted to go to church some Sunday and went on my way. Extra-ordinary event in the midst of the ordinary!! One of my favorite songs is 'Going through the Motions" 'I don't want to spend my whole life asking what if I had given everything instead of going through the motions' May God always show me how to give my everything.

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7/24/09

Baby with a Fever or A Brush with a Healing

My 17mo old grandson get seizures when he gets a fever; the Drs don't seem very concerned about it but it is very alarming when it happens. I experienced them for the first time today. His little body begins to jerk and his face goes slack, his eyes stare off into nothingness. The first one occurred around 1:30pm when his fever spiked to 104, it did not last very long, we gave him another dose of tylenol which he has been taking all day due to the fever not leaving. We got the temp down to about 102 and he seemed to be doing better. The second one occurred around 3:30 and was a little worse, he started to cry like he knew it was coming and then the jerking began, his eyes rolled and be began to drool. I began to pray over him, stumbling with my words not quite knowing how to phrase my prayer in order to be effective. I began to repeat 'Be still in Jesus name' and he became still. God and I have tussled over healings before, I believe that He heals, He just doesn't seem to do it when I ask! So there is that ever present voice that says it was just coincidence, but I truly do not believe in those so I am going with the voice that says that my precious Father, my honorable King heard and answered the prayer of a mildly frantic grandma and stopped the seizure in its tracks! We did end up taking him to the ER because we couldn't get the fever to get below 102 even after 20 min in a luke warm bath! Once again the drs assured my daughter that there is no ear infections, maybe a virus and the seizures are really nothing to be concerned about. His temperature lowered to 99 and they sent them home. Not so much encouragment there but I am very encouraged again that God hears me and loves me and will answer when I call.

7/23/09

My Introduction

I have been toying with the idea of blogging for quite some time. There is alot on my mind that I would like to share and it seems that I have trouble finding people with time to listen so blogging seemed like a good outlet where people can listen if they choose to and I can still share my thoughts. It took me some time to convince myself that I could do this and perhaps even find people who would share their thoughts back at me, but I was stumped for a title. Every good blog should have a good title, right? This morning I believe God gave me the title and I like it! Let me tell you why. I am not extraordinary in looks or lifestyle, I live a very ordinary life, I get up and go to work, meet the needs of other people; I live with, fight with, sleep with, make love with, eat with, spend time with my husband of 25 yrs; I spend way too much time and energy on my children and grandchildren and at the same time don't spend enough time with them; I go to church on Sunday, I socialize and worship and learn; I love my God and Savior with all my heart, mind, strength and soul; it seems to me a very ordinary life. And yet God tells me that I am an extra-ordinary woman; God is as real to me as the people I see everyday, we have conversations, He shares His thoughts with me, He gives me His way to see people, not as the selfish, hardened annoying creatures that they can be but as His objects of love, created by Him, broken, damaged, afraid, lost children. He gives me His feelings of love for them; He makes me bold, joyful, loving, wise, discerning, He makes me extraordinary. An extraordinary woman with an ordinary life!